The Crappy Poet

I'm a twenty-something edging past newlywed and new dog owner. I run, write, I work. What else is there besides the struggle to overcome all of that and make something of myself...

1.19.2006

Lessons Learned

I find myself really wanting to talk about work sometimes, even though by the fate of many a publicized ( read: fired) blogger, I know I can't. I wish you could crawl onto the internet and read all sorts of juicy things about the ugly underbellies of random companies, but that sort of thing is frowned upon for some reason. So instead, I will exploit my marriage. Here are some things I have learned in the first two years of marriage:

1. Certain behavior may be considered good if you are a girlfriend, but shitty if you are a wife.

2. No matter how hard you try to break the mold, you will do what your mom did, and he will expect you to do what his mom did.

3. Everybody Loves Raymond is funny.

4. You cannot avoid nagging. Even if you try to parody it, it is still nagging.

5. If he comes home late, you start dinner. If you come home late, you start dinner.

6. You will not go out anymore, because you no longer have to spend money under the guise of looking for Mr. Right. You will be boring. How you fall off the cliff of boringness AGAIN when you have kids, is beyond me.

7. You suddenly won't be able to sleep until he comes to bed.

8. Look before you pee.

9. You can't pretend like you sleep in sexy nighties forever.

10. Marriage is no excuse to look like shit on the weekends. (Thanks, Mom!)

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